While many of my sweet friends have been aggressively pro-beard, the face-mane has it’s detractors, as well. (Interestingly enough, the beard is actually slightly less controversial than the 'stache was. But I digress.) Several normally-sane people have expressed feelings of disgust, outrage, and even paralyzing fear upon gazing at the glorious beard. I respect everyone’s opinions and I understand the reasons behind certain folks’ issues, but I can easily say that anyone who doesn’t like my beard is a Snatch Face. My beard rocks. It is the king of beards. That said, I don’t know how long I’m gonna keep the bad bastard, so dig it while you can.
Moving on. Yesterday, the trailer for the new Halloween remake was released. I’m a huge fan of Rob Zombie. House of 1000 Corpses was a solid, goofy horror flick, and The Devil’s Rejects is one of my absolute favorite movies of the last couple years. Remakes of classic films are always a bad idea (although I love the Gus Van Sant Psycho remake) and while I, (like every other movie fan) don’t understand why Halloween, of all things, needs to be remade, I am totally psyched to see what Zombie does with the material. The cast he’s assembled is fuckin exploding with coolass genre pic stars- Malcom McDowell, Brad Dourif, Danielle Harris, Dee Wallace-Stone, Dany Trejo, Adrienne Barbeau, Udo Kier, and Clint “Eaglebower” Howard. So maybe the movie will be all right? If the trailer is any indication- this bitch will suck it. The trailer is boring and tired and uses every trick in the trailer book. As I wrote about last week, sometimes creative types don’t always have a say in the publicity for their shit, so I’m hoping that this trailer bares little resemblance to the picture itself. Please, Rob Zombie, do not let this movie be ass. Please, please, please. And remember, one of the coolest things about the original was the fact that Jamie Lee Curtis had a serious case of ugly head. She looked plain and awkward and human. Don’t turn Lori Strode into some fucking fresh-off-the-WB Teen Beat Sugar Princess. Keep her real and relatable and geeky, just the way I like her. There. That’s all.
Because my cat is so overweight, he can’t preen himself properly and now has dandruff.
Does anyone who reads this really care about the Halloween remake? I feel like I just came down with a bad case of alienating my core audience. Which is, of course, slightly different from the aforementioned case of ugly head. And has nothing to do with my newly diagnosed case of repetitive turns of phrase.
I am home for Easter and this house reeks of bacon. It’s awesome cuz thinking about the ascension of Christ while smelling fresh bacon is one of my favorite things to do.
I went to Atlantic City on Friday night with my brother and my aunt. We were just about to leave and I noticed a little person working one of the roulette tables. As I hate tall people, I saw this as some kind of sign. It turned out that it was a sign that Little Croupier's fucking love to steal my hundred dollars. Evil Bastards.
But most of all I love Snickers Eggs.
When I said "little person" just there, I actually meant midget. I don't know what got into me. Sorry.
-joe
3 comments:
Hey. I unparalized myself (since I'm not in the same room as you or your mind-numbingly frightening beard) and wanted to let you know:
There is a piano at "Blaggards", W.38th between 5th and 6th.
I know nothing about it's condition, and sometimes they have bands and such, but other nights they have nothing.
There, don't ever say I didn't do nothin' for you.
Affectionately and apparently (according to this very blog)
your friend,
Snatch-face.
Joe Iconis! When I keep sayin we need to hang out I don’t think you understand that we actually need to hang out. Whenever I come into contact with something you made (song, blog) the world becomes infinitely more groovy for like five or sometimes ten whole minutes. I know you’re like, a Super Cool Dude and probly only hang with other Super Cool Dudes, but I promise I’m at least half less weirdly over-eager in person and if I manage to not be awkward it has been said I’m (and I quote) “crazy fun”. Also I like your fat cat. He looks like a large fish. But a cat. Maybe you could get rid of dandruff by shampooing him with Head & Shoulders? cats hate water but perhaps he’ll be too overweight to resist. Also, ugly head is good. As are programs about the daily struggles of midget families with some regular sized kids just trying to get by.
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